Today has been an odd day. Despite the wonderful activities I’ve enjoyed (including spending a few hours plotting out my next biz project on a stunning beach and ordering the Banana Chocolate at an ice cream shop that has over 100 flavours of soft-serve), I’m feeling a little “off”.
When it comes right down to it, I think I’m missing the feeling of permanence that comes with having a place to go back to that’s all your own. I’m missing puttering, and making my favourite zucchini soup, and doing laundry and deciding to just let it sit there in a pile for a few days – as opposed to knowing that later tonight, I’ll just be stuffing it all into my backpack for the umpteenth time.
Did I mention we’re only 3 weeks into our 6-month trip? Yeah. Clearly I need to get over this.
Luckily, I don’t miss OUR home, specifically. That is, the apartment we left behind in Montreal, where this photo was taken, just a few days before our departure:
I miss our friends, and my sister, and the comfortable feeling that goes along with having your own personal refuge – but I don’t miss that apartment on Atwater Avenue – with its constant parade of ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars going by outside, and the lack of a closed bedroom, and the little boy upstairs who likes to run relay races with himself.
So that’s good, at least!
But I’m starting to question the importance of “home”. Does a girl really need one? Or is this sad, lost feeling just a temporary longing – something I’ll get over?
And perhaps most importantly, what will “home” mean in the future?
At this point, I have no idea.
In many ways, this trip is about trying on possibilities when it comes to the life we’ll choose to build when we get “home” from our journey.
I’m loving that we’re meeting people who approach work, and routine, and leisure so differently than we do, because it’s making me see that there are other options. I always knew there were in theory, of course, but to see them in action, up close and personal, is nothing short of titillating.
So maybe it’s all OK, for now. Maybe I just need to relax, and enjoy, and know that someday, based on all we’ve seen on this voyage, “home” will just fall into place – wherever in the world it may be, and whatever it may look like.